actually, I'm a sock model
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
