So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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