just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
