I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
