He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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