"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
