i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
