"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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