I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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