People in love make me want to vomit
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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