I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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