Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
