omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
In America we eat man semen.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
