You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize