I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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