I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i out mim tonsoeep
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