I need help removing her.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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