got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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