dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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