IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When are your genitals available?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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