Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
