we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
