Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
