I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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