hell yes lets make some ravioli
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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