We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize