real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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