So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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