his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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