is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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