I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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