did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
