Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just gargled with NyQuil
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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