After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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