Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
