none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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