what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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