Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
