hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
