Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize