rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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