Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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