sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is the high leading the old right now
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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