I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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