This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
