Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
