Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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