My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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