using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize