what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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