i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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