Buhtt sex?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
