Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
