Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
