You're my little dorito
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
