If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Randomize
